gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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