Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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