I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
