She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Congratulations! We have a period
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
