I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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