CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
