a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
