I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
