I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
