But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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