I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.