weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
