Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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