I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
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sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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