Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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