bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
