so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
