you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
