I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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