I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
