you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Non-Jews are for practice
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
