hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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