i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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