i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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