I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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