wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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