whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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