I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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