Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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