Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
