Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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