Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
