I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
