when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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