I'm so fucking centered right now
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
