Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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