tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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