I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize