I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.