We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
there is glitter all over my balls
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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