Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
