we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
