i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
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I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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