am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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