i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
