I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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