Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
