its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
