I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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