for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize