Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize