Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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