Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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