Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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