i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My vagina is officially offended.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
