We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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