We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
