holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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