You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
