I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think I just sharted jello shots
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
