I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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