I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
