i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
