pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
