babies were throwing up all over the place
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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